my ex has been txting and ringing me lately and saying he wants to get back together with me but I dont really want to. I feel sorry for him as he doesnt really seem to have moved on and found anyone else. Im enjoying been single and we broke up two months ago because we kept arguing about everything and anything.

I dont want to be mean to him as I still like him as a good friend but how do I let him down that I dont have those feelings for him anymore?.

He keeps wanting me to come around and watch a movie and have a few drinks but I keep putting it off because im worried he will try some moves on me and I will have to let him down and hurt his feelings but hes getting annoyed hat I wont come around and thinks I must hate him now.

It seems sometimes it would be so much easier if we just never spoke again


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~hollaback girl~

I had this with one of my exs too. Even when he was with his new gf! We broke up in February but we were still seeing each other until September (when he met this new girl) if you know what I mean.....

With both my ex;s I have always wanted to stay good friends with them. But I have now realised that yes, it is possible to do this, but you really need to cut yourself off from each other for a good month or so, with only a little, but preferably, no contact whatsoever with them. You both need to learn to live life without each other again. I find then after a while, you can start talking and being friends with less pressure about picking up where you left off.

Just be honest with him, and tell him you dont like him like that anymore, but you still want to be friends, dont string him along, just tell him. its really hard, ive been in that positiion many times, but it works out better in the end, if he gets all angry and doesnt want to talk to you anymore, give him time, he will get over it.
good luck.


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~bite me~

Sorry to say it, but men seem to have difficulty staying friends with an ex.  More so the older you get.
I think that AF has the right idea about the whole cutting yourself off from him thing.  If you did that then your probably more likely to be friends later, but for now I bet all he's thinking is that if your around then he can pursuade you to get back together with him.  Give him time, he might come round, but if he doesn't then he doesn't have enuff respect for you for you to waste your time being friends with him anyways.
If that sounds harsh then Im sorry, most of my ex's didn't want to stay friends and to be quite honest, it made things so much easier!
Good luck with him tho, I hope you get it sorted!

 


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Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal, fear is how I fall, confusing what is real...

Yeah you might have to just tell him straight up and if he cant handle it then too bad. You might that after 6 months or so hes moved on and youre able to talk again as mates.

Maybe even try sitting down and talking it all through with him? Yea, you might hurt him like you're not wanting to do, but hopefully if he goes away he might see where you are coming from. And if he doesn't want to remain friends with you then he's really not worth having in your life right?

And remember, and ex is an ex for a reason!

yes I think I am just going to have to be really cold to him and hope he moves on and sees we arent going to be back together. I will miss talking to him though.

Thanks for the advice peeps


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~hollaback girl~

Yea it is REALLY hard to do. Especially when they have been a really big part of your life. It's so much easier to say than do!!!